Teenage Mother
returns to High School

Be clear about your own sexual values and attitudes.

It will be much easier for you to talk with your child if you have thought through these questions:

• How do you feel about school aged teens being sexually active?
• Becoming parents?
• Who needs to set the sexual limits in a relationship?
• How is this done?
• Were you sexually active as a teen?
• How do you feel about that now?
• Were you sexually active before you were married?
• How do the answers to these questions affect what you will say to your children?
• How do you feel about encouraging teens to abstain from sex?
• What do you think about teens using contraceptives?

Talk with your children early and often about sex and love. Be specific.

Be a parent with a point of view. These are the kinds of things you could say to your child:

• I think kids in high school are too young to have sex—especially given the risks of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.
• In our family, we believe that sex should be an expression of love within marriage
• Having a baby doesn’t make a boy into a man or a girl into a woman. People wait until they are ready to take responsibility before having a child.
• It’s natural and normal to have sexual desires and to think about sex. It is not okay for teens to get pregnant so do not have sex.
• Having sex is not the price you should pay for having a close relationship. If it is, find another boyfriend/girlfriend

Know your children’s friends and their families.

Since peers have a strong influence on teens, do your best to help your children choose friends from families with similar values. Welcome your children’s friends into your home, and talk with them regularly. Talk with their parents about curfews, common rules and expectations.

Supervise and monitor your children’s activities.

Know where your children are at all times. Are they safe? What are they doing? Are they involved in useful activities? If they aren’t with you, are responsible adults supervising them? You may be accused of being too snoopy, but you can help your children understand that parents who care know where their kids are.

Emphasize how much you value education.

Set high expectations for your child’s school performance. If your child is not progressing well in school, intervene early. School failure is one of the key risk factors for teen parenthood. Keep track of your children’s grades and meet with teachers. Volunteer at school if you can. Limit teen’s after-school jobs to no more than 20 hours per week, so there is ample time for homework—and enough time left over for restful sleep and socializing.